A fortunate man

"A man or a woman who is sobbing reminds one of a child, but in the most disturbing way . This is partly because of the particular social convention which discourages adults (and particularly men) from breaking into tears but permits children to do so. Yet this is by no means the whole explanation. There is a physical resemblance between a sobbing figure and a child. The 'bearing ' of the adult falls away and his movements are limited to certain very primitive ones. The centre of the body once again seem s to be the mouth: as though the mouth were simultaneously the place of pain and the only way by which consolation might be taken in. There is a loss of the control of the hands which again can only clench or paw. The whole body tends towards a foetal position . There are good physiological and psychological reasons for all this: but we can observe the similarity without knowing them. And why is the similarity so disturbing? Once more I believe the explanation goes further than our sense of convention or compassion. In some way the similarity, once established, is brutally denied . The sobbing man is not like a child. The child cries to protest . The man cries to himself. It may even be that by crying again like a child he somehow believes that he will regain the ability to recover like a child. Yet that i s impossible." 

From John Berger's "A fortunate man", a book for a fortunate reader.